The Vengeance of Mrs. Claus

Tis the season for a spanking!

Imagine an alternate universe where Santa was real and the terms of Christmas became pretty serious when you turn 21. Claire Labraun never believed in Santa as her parents chose to shelter her from the reality of it by not celebrating Christmas at all. The year of her 21st birthday, Claire learns the truth behind the holiday and discovers that she has regrettably ended up on the “naughty list.” In order for Claire to rectify her misdeeds and get into Santa’s good graces, she needs to visit Mrs. Claus. Unfortunately for Claire, Mrs. Claus spanks and spanks HARD.

“Santa!” I protested, digging in my heels as he led me by the elbow. “You can’t do this! I’m not old enough! I’m barely twenty-one! Please, Santa, I’ll be good forever and ever!” Santa said not one word as he ushered me into his little cottage. Normally I would have noticed that the fireplace crackled and the scent of cinnamon hung in the air, but at this moment all I could do was tug at his arm in a futile attempt to get free.

“You, my dear,” he said without any sympathy, “are going to get the spanking you’ve been begging for your entire life.”

I shook my head desperately. “No! No, Santa, please. I didn’t know! Give me another chance. Don’t spank me.”

Even the word “spank” had been unthinkable a day or two ago, but now it rolled off my tongue. Desperation will do that to a person.

“Oh, I won’t spank you,” Santa said grimly. “That’s not my job.”

“That’s not…”

Before I could finish my sentence, a tall, graying lady entered the room. Her rosy cheeks and bright-red apron failed to sweeten the grim expression on her face.

Anastasia Vitsky’s “The Vengeance of Mrs. Claus” is a spankalicous short story full of holiday fun. I simply loved the concept of real rewards for being on Santa’s “nice list” and real consequences for being on Santa’s “naughty list.” I never thought I would ever actually wish for coal in my stocking on Christmas morning!

While I most certainly enjoyed the premise of the story, I had a few issues with its execution.  For instance, the story actually unfolds as Ana interacts with Claire while writing about Claire’s first encounter with Santa.  While I think this approach was very clever, I found it to be a little distracting at first. I also think the short story could have used a more elaborate introduction to familiarize the reader with the concept of this alternative Christmas tradition.  Lastly, I didn’t get the impression that Mrs. Claus was angry with Claire or trying to seek revenge on her bottom for her misdeeds.  I simply thought she was following through with her duty to spank all naughty bottoms. As a result, I thought the word “vengeance” in the title was a little misleading.

In the end, I thought this story was the perfect way to ring in the holiday season. I was very entertained by this tale and very much look forward to Ana’s next book.